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I am unhappy.

I am sad. I feel useless and worthless. I have given all of myself and in the end, I have received a cold slap to the face. I am at my wit’s end.

I am clueless. Everything I thought to try hasn’t worked. I am at the verge of losing everything. I don’t know what else to do. I feel isolated and alone. I have tried to reach out for help. I am tired of the pain and tears.

I saw someone post their last message on social media. They said they couldn’t go on. They said this time they couldn’t escape. I feel what they felt. I understand what they must have been going through. Yet I keep trying to believe that better things are coming.

I hope I will make it past this pain.

Everyday I pray for better fortunes, for a miracle. Nothing short of a miracle can save me now. All I see is darkness. All I have is regrets.

This has been my 2023, and it seems it will be my 2024.

I lost my job and my hustle. Everything seems to die in my hands. I am drowning in debt. My health is at an all time low. I can’t afford my medication. I can’t even afford to buy food for my family. I don’t have any money for my bills. I just sent my landlady a message asking for more time to pay rent, but I have no idea where I will get the money.

I now resent happiness because it seems to happen to everyone but me. I just want to stay hidden at home. I don’t even want to open the curtains. I don’t want to switch on the lights in the evening. I just want to sit in the darkness.

Life has left me. I need help, but I know not where to turn.

So I keep praying, and I read the bible

As I wait for God to save me,

Or take me