Hello April

As the first quarter of the year comes to an end, it gives us an opportunity to reflect on how we have done so far concerning our resolutions. In my January 22 post entitled To 2022, I said my resolution was to win the little battles in my life. I wanted to overcome my procrastination when it comes to writing. Before I delve into the writing side of things, I would like to share a bit about some personal things that I have gone through that may have influenced some of the posts I have written.  

I normally find that my creativity comes from the emotions that I feel. I write because I am happy and I want to share that with the world. Sometimes I write because I am going through turmoil, and I use writing as a way of processing my feelings. These are not the only reasons that I write, they are just two ends of the spectrum. 

I have been frustrated of late by fatherhood. The whole concept of having people depending on you in a non-functioning economy can get to your inner man. During the past three months I have struggled with feelings of anxiety and insecurity. It is hard to go to work every day for the ones you love and yet you fail to provide the basics.  

I have; on more than one occasion, found the mantle too heavy for me. I have found myself wishing I could quit and go somewhere where no one knows me. I wished I could start a new life because I felt the walls closing in on me. I was at a time in my life where the flame of hope was slowly being suffocated and I could hardly see how I would make it to the next day. I know I have written about it in the past, but I was living it again; the notion that there is no calvary coming for you-you are on your own. I just carried a smile of my face, but it was like putting new paint on the façade of a crumbling house. 

I have come a long way in these three months. I have managed to get a bit of a grip on things. I have a sliver of hope again, a bit of wind in my sails if you will.  

I write all this to let you know that sometimes you get knocked so hard that you don’t believe you will ever get up again. It is in such times you can start questioning some things that you consider fundamental in your life. The trick, at least for me, is to keep moving. It might not even be a full step but keep moving. Even if you are lying down on your back, or even your belly; make an effort to move. 

That is where blogging comes in for me. I made a commitment to post every fortnight, but I ended up posting every Saturday. For me, that was movement. I fought hard to make sure that I have a post every Saturday without excuse. The posts became my little victories. They gave me hope and something to look forward to.  

The fear that I had for writing posts has significantly subsided. I am becoming more confident with each day. I am sure I am making more mistakes too, but it’s all part of the process of perfecting a craft.  

In the grand scheme of things, I am grateful I started blogging. I am grateful for the opportunity to have your attention, even for a few minutes as you read my posts. I want to welcome April, and the next quarter, with open arms and a spring in my step. 

I would like to encourage you to start that project you have been shelving. It’s not too late. Maybe it might one day, provide you with an escape like blogging does for me.  

Don’t wait to be perfect.  

Don’t wait to have state of the art equipment.  

Start where you are with what you have. 

Finally, thank you all for being there to read the things I write. You all give me so much encouragement. I am truly thankful for your support. 

Till the next one, 

DEUCES 

NB: I would love to hear your comments on how you deal with difficult situations.